This month we’re talking about the changes we want to make this year – real, lasting, and important changes, not just surface changes that may or may not last and may or may not make a difference. And I’m sharing with you a set of tools that you and I can use to identify those changes and make them a reality.
Yesterday we talked about Tool #1 – deciding not just what you want to change, but who you want to become this year – the woman you want to be 6 or 12 months from now.
And today we’re talking about a crucial tool you’ll need in order to make that happen –
You have to decide that you are worth it. And not just decide, but embrace it and live it and allow it to change you.
But that doesn’t come naturally. As a matter of fact, for most women it feels like the most unnatural thing in the world. Because women tend to devote most of their time and energy to doing things for others – children, spouse, parents, other family members, friends – they also tend to run out of time and energy to do things for themselves. They just don’t consider themselves to be a priority.
And, of course, this isn’t about becoming self-absorbed. You want to take care of the important people in your life. And you need to handle your responsibilities – going to work or school, running a household, handling commitments to extended family.
And yes, you need to devote some time to your children’s sports and social activities and your family’s church and community activities. Those things are important, but they’re not as important as your health, your goals and dreams, and your most important relationships. And they’re not as important as your peace of mind.
Do you believe that? Because the messages you hear day in and day out likely say otherwise. Those messages probably whisper (or yell!) to you that your children or your spouse or your job or your church should always take the highest priority. They probably tell you that your children need to play every sport and participate in every activity in order to succeed in life.
Or that you should only consider your spouse’s needs and not your own. Or that the demands of your job should take priority. Or that the needs of your parents or siblings should take priority over your own needs.
But those messages aren’t necessarily true. Yes, they’re true at some times and in some situations, but as an ongoing way of thinking and living – no, they aren’t true.
What is true it that God has given you a body that needs love and attention, in order to be strong and healthy. And He’s given you goals and dreams, and primary relationships, that also need love and attention.
And it’s okay to set goals in those areas and devote some of your time and energy to achieving them. It’s okay to make changes this year and to work toward becoming the woman you really want to be. It’s not selfish.
So, given the goal(s) you’ve set for this year and the woman you’ve determined you want to become, what will it take for you to decide that you’re worth it? Today’s “Use the Tool” will help you figure that out.
Use the Tool – In order to figure that out, spend some time over the next two days asking yourself these questions. Then slow down and listen to your answers. Don’t force them, just let them come. Ask and listen and see what your mind has to say.
- Do I believe that my goals, health, or other priorities are worth more of my time and attention?
- Do other people in my life believe that those things are worth more of my time and attention?
- What’s standing in the way of me working on my goals, health, or other priorities for the year?
- How can I change, remove, or overcome the things that are standing in the way?
- How hard will it be to change, remove, or overcome those things?
- Am I worth it?
Listen, this may be easy for you or it may be very difficult. You may already know that you’re worth it and, if you do, get going! Start working on becoming the woman you want to become this year.
But if this is difficult for you, if you don’t know or aren’t sure if you’re worth it, then take some time to work through your thoughts and feelings about it. Talk to a trusted friend – one who has your best interests at heart. If something really difficult is stopping you from moving forward in a positive way, by making changes that you know would be good for you, consider talking to a counselor about that issue.
Use this tool as quickly or as slowly as you like (but don’t use it slowly as an excuse not to take any positive action!)
Is deciding that you are worth it hard or easy for you? Let me know in the Comments, or email me at hello @ healthylifetoolbox.com.
You can find all of the tools in the Healthy Life Toolbox here.