This month, we’re talking about tools you can use to make healthy changes in your life, especially changes you find hard to make. Last week, we talked about why you need to focus on action, not motion (and the difference between the two).
Today, I want to give you a tool that’s a little bit different from our usual fare. Instead of encouraging you to make positive changes, I want to offer up a little bit of tough love and tell you to stop messing around.
Before I tell you what I mean by that, I want you to ask yourself these questions (or similar ones that fit your situation):
- How am I doing with the changes I planned to make this year, the ones designed to help me lead a healthier or happier life?
- Am I making progress?
- Am I following my plan? Staying on track?
- Or have I gotten stuck and don’t seem able to move forward?
- Do I sometimes feel like I just don’t know what to do next?
If you’re on track and making progress, even if it’s slow – great. Keep going!
But, if you find that you’re often stuck, frustrated, or don’t know what to do – maybe you need to stop messing around. Maybe you need to stop thinking about what you’re going to do and quit waffling. Maybe you need to quit stopping and starting. Maybe you need to quit overthinking it.
In other words – stop messing around. Don’t keep saying that you’re going to do it – do it.
You know that I’m all about encouragement – encouraging you to take small steps and keep going – and that I generally like to keep things positive.
But today I want you to hear some words of tough love – because I need to hear them, and I’m guessing you do too.
I know women who have started and stopped their weight loss efforts a hundred times. I know women who’ve been saying for years that they’re going to slow down and get their stress under control. I know women who’ve been talking about turning their hobby into a business for years. I know women who desperately want to write a book.
But they’re not doing it. They plan and think and research. They start and then stop. They start again. They plan some more. They promise themselves that this time will be different.
Are you one of those women? I am, and I’m embarrassed to say it. Even though I “fully committed” to eating clean and getting my body to its healthiest weight this year, in reality I’m putting about 60% effort into it. And I’ve been saying for at least 8 years that I want to write a book, but I’m still thinking about it.
In other words, I’m not doing what I truly want to do. Instead, I’m messing around.
What about you? Did you make a commitment to yourself this year, and now find that you’re pursuing it halfheartedly? Or maybe you’ve started and stopped pursuing the thing you want a half a dozen times. Or maybe you’re not pursuing it at all.
We could talk about the reasons you and I aren’t doing the thing we really want to do. And sometimes there’s value in understanding the “why.”
But today we’re not going to talk about that. Instead, I’m just going to tell you – and me – to stop messing around and do the thing you know you want to do.
Just. Do. The. Thing. Get on the healthy eating plan and stay on it. Stop doing something that wastes 30 minutes of your time and use that time to exercise 5 days a week. Start saying “no” to people and work on reducing your stress level. Go get on Etsy and open the darn shop. Open up Word and start writing the darn book.
Whatever the thing is that you wanted to do this year, stop messing around and start doing it.
In other words, stop messing around. You’re wasting your precious time and energy, driving yourself crazy, and making yourself feel guilty. It’s nuts – and I’m talking to myself here, because I’m doing it too.
So make the commitment right now that you’re going to stop messing around and start doing the thing that you really want to do this year.
Do. The. Thing.
What’s your thing, and how are you messing around with it? I’d love to hear from you. Let me know in the comments or email me at hello @ healthylifetoolbox.com.
Use the Tool – Today, just decide to stop messing around and go after the thing you said you really wanted to do this year. Then decide the same thing tomorrow and the next day. Make that decision every day this week and see what happens.
Next, we’ll talk about Tool #11 – Reframe “I Deserve.”